
There are two types of people in this world: good and bad. The good sleep better,
but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair
and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get much sleep.
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes.
It involves Russia.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
I was depressed… I was suicidal; as a matter of fact, I would have killed myself
but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you
pay for the sessions you miss.
Don’t think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought—particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, ‘Be fruitful and multiply,’ but not in those words.
If my films don’t show a profit, I know I’m doing something right.
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