Well I finally managed to drag myself out of bed at a reasonable time today. Or rather, I should say I managed to wake up at a reasonable time (8:15 a.m.) and seeing how gloomy the day was outside, I decided to treat myself by staying in bed and reading for a good long while. That felt utterly decadent. More so than sleeping in does, since I do that all too often these days. I know Fritz was all too glad to catch a little nap laying on top of me, since he knows not to go in the bedroom for naps on his own. He’s been known to spend entire days in there, and I don’t want my cat taking on my bad habits. I can’t afford therapy for both of us.
After I’d made quite a lot of headway on the book, I started thinking of all the extra things I could/should do with the extra time today — the time that I have left over from not oversleeping for once. Cleaning house is always at the top of the list because I never do any of it and happen to really like a tidy home. But it’s just so dull and seems like a punishment more than anything else, especially since things only seem to stay clean for about ten minutes before mounds of dust and cat hair start piling up on every surface all over again.
There’s painting and drawing that I’m always up for, and which I talk about a lot but somehow never seem to actually do much of. Then there’s reading and more reading of course. And on days like today, I don’t feel the slightest bit of guilt about staying indoors and watching a good movie, or maybe even a really really bad one, which can sometimes be equally satisfying.
So what’s the problem you ask? Seems like I have plenty of time and possibilities, right? This is true. The trouble with that is when I have too many options, I just become paralyzed as my brains whirs round and round, trying to figure out what the best plan would be. Ideally, I’d make up a schedule and be able to fit in a little bit of everything — but I’ve never been any good at that — when I try to, I end up rebelling against my own schedules and then I’m back to square one. I need a personal assistant. Someone I would pay to tell me what I should do next. Or better yet, maybe we could rewire that part of my brain? That would sure be handy. Because otherwise, here’s the thing, I end up exhausting myself trying to figure out what I want to do next, and all I can manage then is taking a good long nap.
I’d be curious to know how other people manage it…
Pic by Roadsidepictures Flickr