I Choose Life! But which one?

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You’d think that looking for a kitten to come live with Fritz and I would be a barrel of fun right? That’s what I thought it would be like too, but in no time this latest project has turned into yet another angst-fest. My mother [hi mum!] always makes fun of me because I have a hard time choosing anything and she’s right… it’s beyond ridiculous. Especially when it comes down to ice-cream flavours and colours of handbags (I got both the colours that time) and which book I should read next (actually, that one’s easy, thank God). Basically, when the choosing involves small things of no consequence I can see that my inability to choose is kind of ridiculous and sort of funny. But then when it comes down to big decisions it just all get blown out of proportion and before you know it I feel like I have a monster with 37 giant heads chasing after me and I have to figure out which head I need to hit on first for the monster to go away or else I’ll… die! (Gasp). Well not really, but there’s some kind of drama involved. Sometimes it almost feels like that and usually I take care of the problem by just sleeping it off. I figure: a) either an answer will come to me in my sleep or b) maybe the problem will go away or c) I’ll get mad at myself for being such a big flake and just choose already. All this over a kitten. A kitten! I can see that this is a topic that could have me writing until tomorrow morning, but I have things to do tomorrow, so I’ll be as efficient as I can and outline some facts for you, and then maybe you can help me extirpate myself from this latest quagmire:

• I am dead set on getting a rescue cat. I’d gladly adopt a cute little tramp if it sat in front of my door and asked nicely for me to adopt it, which would take care of the choosing business, but none seem to be forthcoming these days.

• Adopting an animal it a big commitment which I take seriously. A cat’s lifespan nowadays is anywhere between six and 20 years, depending on several factors. So it’s basically a 20-year commitment. That’s way longer than most marriages nowadays.

• I already have a cat; a lovely five year-old slender grey tabby. Goes by the name of Fritz (not his actual name). I’ve had him since he barely fit in the palm of my hand and I dote on him and love him to bits. Which is part of the problem. Because he’s spoiled rotten. I’ve seen Fritz reacting to other animals and it’s not good. So I expect that he’ll be just as aggressive—if not more so—if he sees another cat invading his space and taking attention off him.

• Looking at the local SPCA’s Petfinder pages, there are dozens of options. From underage kittens who aren’t quite ready to be adopted yet to brother and sister combos, available together or alone (but the thought of separating them breaks my heart). There are young teenaged cats and of course, plenty of mature cats too. I want them all. The cute ones and the funny-looking ones, the sick ones and the pregnant ones, I want every which one of them. They all need care and I’d feel honoured to be able to provide a loving and stable home for them.

• I live in a downtown apartment and my landlords put a clause in the lease that says I’m not to have pets. When I’d been here and I asked them to allow a cat to live with me because I was lonely, they recanted. But I’m not sure mentioning a second one is such a good idea. Oops. Just realized my landlady sometimes reads my blog [Hi Jackie!]. As I was saying, I’d love to take all these cats (AND dogs) looking for a home to live with me in my big ol’ country home… except I don’t happen to have one at this time.

• Looking at the cats on Petfinder has me on the verge of tears the whole time because I feel like if I pick one, I choose to give it a good life, but then, what about the others?

• Looking at the cats on Petfinder has me on the verge of tears the whole time because, what if I choose a cat or kitten and somehow make the wrong choice and then Fritz never adapts to that particular cat or kitten and goes from violent hissing and mewling (that’s a given) to perpetual brooding? What then?

• Looking at the cats on Petfinder has me on the verge of tears the whole time because I wish I could get to meet each and every one of them and hang out for a while so we could establish which ones would be happiest to live with Fritz and I and which ones just can’t be bothered. That would help narrow down the selection.

• Looking on PetFinder has me on the verge of tears and then I realize that a lot of the animals are in foster homes which means that I myself could offer to help out that way. And that would be a little bit like doing what I was talking about before. Then Fritz and I and the foster kitty (and future permanent resident) could all choose each other! Which would be way cool. And sort of reminds me of the plot of “Ensemble, c’est tout” by Anna Gavalda. Only it’s set in Montreal instead of Paris and all the principal characters save one are cats! You think I should start writing the script?

• The only problem with the scenario above is it wouldn’t work. As we all know cats hate change. And Fritz having a series of cats to get used to is… something I’d rather not think about.

• Somehow I’ve decided that the odds for success are better if the cat is a female kitten. Because there won’t be that whole territorial and dominance thing. But then I read on web that male cats get along best with other male cats. So then I think that it could be a male or female but it should still be a kitten. Why a kitten? Because kittens are cute and cuddly and I’ll for sure be googoogaga about it and Fritz might eventually let his guard down and becomes like the big brother or something (or that dog up there). That’s the best-case scenario. The worst-case scenario has Fritz eating the kitten for dinner. Poor kitten. :-(

• Where was I? So late! Must get to bed… no time for edits, so I’m serving all this up pell-mell. Which actually gives you the best insight of how it’s all swimming around in my head and making me more and more confused. Maybe I should just get a lizard or something. A big one that Fritz won’t try eating of course.

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