Stuff On My Cat… & Stuff.

Feel free to submit your own captions!
The Cat in the Sox
Fritz likes wearing my socks. Just not on his feet.

Did I leave my pair of sox in there?
Mimi says: “I keep losing my toys in there!”

She’s No Angel
Contrary to appearances, she ain’t no angel…

Angels. Good to Chew On.
… but she chews up angels for breakfast!

I just finished submitting these four photos and captions to Stuff On My Cat and am pretty excited about this first submission. If you’d like to see the pictures on their site, you’ll have to keep checking in regularly—they’ve got plenty of other cool pics to see. They also had these totally cool t-shirts for just five dollars each so I got the women’s t’s shown here and with shipping the total came to 15 dollars which is less than I spent for a single t-shirt on sale on the J Crew site a few days ago (Shipping not included! I know I know… serves me right). I think I’ll be rockin’ in my Kitty t’s. Did I ever mention I like shopping? I find just about any excuse to shop: now that I have a second cat, I need stuff that I didn’t know existed before. Like a cat scratching post and a leash and harness for instance. The scratching post I’m still shopping around for because I’m still looking for the perfect one (made with sisal and not carpeting). As for the leash and harness… I tried it on Mimi twice and she basically just sat there on my front steps for maybe an hour until this great big fluffy gray cat came over and tried to make friends with her, which is when she decided we were done with our walk. I wish I had a photo of that. With her canary yellow leash she was quite a sight.

Another thing I didn’t know I needed before was a PediPaws nail filing system for pets. I knew I needed some kind of system because so far trying to trim Fritz’s nails is a nightmare. He screams bloody murder. Then he lets out these heartbreaking mews. Then he tries to attack me. And so on. I’d find the whole thing funny if it weren’t so unpleasant. So when I saw this stupid thing advertised on TV I got interested. And then a newsletter I receive from a vet recommended it, so I just went ahead and bought it, against my better judgment. The thing is supposed to be gentler for pets than traditional trimming scissors because of the rotating nail file which is supposed to “gently and painlessly file your Pet’s nails to leave them trim, rounded and smooth […] The secret is PediPaws™’ precision emery filing wheel that gently removes thin layers of nail to leave your pet’s paws touchably soft.” It seemed affordable and it came with this ‘Shed Ender’ which was supposedly ‘free’ (ha!). Once on their site, the next thing I knew they were recommending a ‘better and improved’ model that was twice the price but “because it’s more quiet, your pet will appreciate much more”. So I went for it. Like an idiot. And then while they were at it they sold me extra nail files too. So when I finally got the stupid thing I noticed that the files were awfully coarse. I had my doubts but still I tried it on both cats. First I made sure they got familiar with the thing and the noise and vibration it emits but it was a disaster. I only tried it on one nail but they howled as if in unbearable pain and when I looked at the result, sure enough the claw was shredded and definitely NOT ‘rounded and smooth’. I HATE “As Seen on TV” offers. It’s ALWAYS a bunch of crap (though it’s the first—and last—time they reeled me in). I’ll for sure be getting whatever money back they’ll let me have. But here’s the catch: that bonus Shed Ender that was just an afterthought? Is actually pretty great. I’m sure plenty of people don’t return the stupid nail file just so they can keep the Shed Ender. I considered it too but at more than 50 dollars, I think I’ve been ripped off enough as it is.

So if you’re reading this and you’re still thinking: “hmmm… I should try it anyway” all I can say is enjoy your Pedi Paw SHREDDER. “Another full of crap marketing ploy brought to you by the same people who also try to sell you all the other bullshit items you’ve seen on TV.”

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