So here’s my contribution to Christmas good cheer: last year’s tacky christmas decoration dusted off a little and put on top of the blog-cum-Christmas tree. It’s still perfectly fine and serves it’s purpose, and of course, since I believe in the principles of economy and conservation, I’ve done my bit in the recycling department for 2008.
In other news: I. Am. Just. Exhausted. Of course it’s beyond late again and that doesn’t help, but it’s another kind of exhaustion. Mental fatigue. I know everybody feels overextended at this time of year what will balancing work and family and extracurricular activities and Christmas shopping and all the preparation that goes into having people over or going to visit friends and family and wanting to make a good impression… well in my case there hasn’t been any of that for a good long while and I must say I’m quite happy about this state of affairs this year. Gives me time to spend with my babies. That would be Fritz and Mimi and the other Mimi, aka MacBook Pro.
All I’ve done today was have long and pleasant catching up conversations with mum and dad (hi Lucie, hi Zev!) and then futzed around with the laptop. At this point my new toy is feeling a bit like having moved to another country. A beautiful different country, filled with opportunities and where people speak the same language as you, but where everything is completely different from what you’ve always known. At first there’s the exhilaration of discovering all kinds of new and cool things, people and places, but then quickly enough, you start realizing that everything you take for granted and never had to think about twice because “that’s the way things are” just doesn’t apply anymore. So that even what should be the absolute simplest of tasks, becomes a major time consuming ordeal. For instance, I heard testimonies from many a French man or woman who came to this French province expecting things to be exactly as they are in France, only with a different accent and that wonderful Canadian scenery as a bonus. Ha! Is what they got for sure.
Ha!’ I had a funny sort of little episode happen today [mum, you already know about this so you can skip to the next paragraph]. Usually I’m almost always at home when there are packages deliveries. We’ve all joked about me having a thing for the UPS man or vice versa since we see each other so often. As a matter of fact, Bill and I now joke about the possibility of us sharing afternoon tea on occasion. But today it just so happened that I had to go out to the corner store for a quick errand so that when I turned the corner at the top of my street on the way back, I saw there was a UPS man up on my porch ringing the doorbell. Not Bill this time. Some other guy. I shouted and motioned to him to wait a moment while I made my way back, gingerly stepping over snow and when I reached my front door we started a short conversation. He mentioned something about leaving me to it since I must have loads of activities planned for the day, and I must have replied something like “it’s actually pretty quiet this year” then I saw his face and added “but that’s totally cool, I like it like that”. I didn’t realize I had just stepped into something.
So he asks, “what about your family?”
I made a gesture indicating that they’re all dispersed.
“And what about kids then? Don’t you have kids?”
“Nope!” I said, still oblivious to what was going on.
“But then your husband or your boyfriend… don’t you have a boyfriend? That doesn’t seem possible!”
“‘Ha?’ What is that supposed to mean?”
“Just that, I like my privacy”.
And then, boom, of course he had to say he’d be all too happy to spend the holidays with me if I was willing to give him a chance.
I told him not to hold his breath “but don’t take it personally, I’m just happy being with my cats for now”.
We wished each other a Happy Holiday and he went away shaking his head. As I said to my mum, it was all kind of flattering really, and certainly more action than I’ve gotten in a long while, since most men in Quebec are loath to indicate any sings of interest for a woman, but it just reminded me how very little interest I have these days with anything to do with romance or dating, or getting to know someone in that special kind of way. I’m kind of like a ten year old boy about all that these days. I just think “GROSS!” and can’t imagine why anyone would bother anyway. This time of year has always been a time when I was most keenly aware of my single status. Of course I know there are plenty of wonderful things about being in a relationship, but for now, it’s all just fine by me. No feeling like there’s a part of me missing, no loneliness, just being quite content with the way things are.
So either I’ve lost all my hopes and ambitions, or else I’ve become one of those Zen masters who doesn’t question, but just IS. I like to think the latter.
How I DO blab. But if you’re still with me, I’d like to say a big thank you to those who wrote today to send their good wishes—that was really lovely and warmed my heart. To those of you who are reading this, and you know who you are, know that I often think of you fondly and that though I’m not so good at staying in touch, I always carry you in my heart.
Enjoy the good cheer and your day off or two, and remember: don’t drive drunk, but feel free to do all sorts of things that I wouldn’t do this year.