So it’s looking like there are some changes ahead in the near future. My shrink had mentioned a Day Program offered at the hospital to people who are recovering from various psychiatric conditions and needing some guidance and structure. I said no twice because the idea of being around a group of people who may or may not be worse off than I am every day was just more than I could bear. That and having to get up in the early hours of the morning and having to follow a schedule every day seemed like more than I was prepared to handle. But then last time she mentioned it, I said yes. Not because I’m suddenly excited about the idea of it, but because I’m thinking it’s probably something I need at this point, since if anything, establishing some kind of routine is proving more difficult that I would ever have anticipated.
Last Friday I had an appointment to go meet a nurse from the program who showed me their current schedule—Monday to Friday from 9:30 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. with various workshops such as self-esteem, art therapy, assertiveness and so on, with access to the psychiatrist who is in charge of the program and apparently comes highly recommended. The nurse and I sat there for over 90 minutes while we went through a questionnaire, which among other things had us make a small family tree. Always a difficult exercise for me since I have such a bad memory. We only got about halfway through the whole document.
Now I’m on the waiting list, which usually takes 4-6 weeks (sometimes less) before admission. I can’t say I’m excited about it—after all I’ll be forced to leave the comfort of my home and bed (not to mention my kitties!) every day. But I know some kind of change—beyond getting a haircut—is needed at this point.