I feel absolutely heartbroken tonight, but I keep forgetting why. Then it comes back to me and I do my best to drown my sorrows in reading and movies because thinking about it doesn’t help. Have seen two movies so far: The Day the Earth Stood Still with Keanu Reeves playing an alien come to save the planet from further human destruction and Jennifer Connelly, a scientist desperately trying to convince him that we as a species are capable of change and that we will turn things around and start taking better care of our planet (I say the aliens should have gone ahead with their original plan and gotten rid of us because it’s my belief the planet doesn’t stand a chance while we’re still around) and then Doubt with Philip Seymour Hoffman playing a likeable priest and Meryl Streep as the school principal intent on driving out our good priest based on her certainty (but no proof whatsoever) that he has abused one of the students.
Now I’ll have to watch a third movie to lighten the mood around here because after those two more or less depressing movies, I still have a vivid image of Fritz crouching just ten feet away from me to take a piss on the floor while looking at me straight in the eyes. It was all the more infuriating since I had just this week gotten him these puppy training pads which are like diapers you put down on the floor and Fritz seemed to have really taken to them, which had me breathing a big sigh of relief, but that was all ruined when he decided to relieve himself with both middle fingers stuck out at me. At this point I’ve decided to leave him outside for as long as possible as a precaution for his own safety. Once I stop having vivid fantasies about all the ways I could skin and torture him, then I’ll let him in again. Next week we’ll be going to the vet and seeing if he has a physical problem and if he doesn’t, I’ll ask about putting him on antidepressants because this behavioral problem needs to be fixed, and soon before I do something I really regret.