Today was a day of sleep and strange reveries. The alarm went off at 10:30 though it felt more like pre-dawn to me and so I fell back in bursts of fitful sleep well into late afternoon. There was a very long, very convoluted dream playing while I slept which I woke from occasionally only to check whether Mimi was still watching over me at her station by my feet before slipping back into the dream. There was a poorly organized trip to Asia which required last minute rush preparations, there was family, there was somebody having a grandiose and very important marriage, there was flirting between young men and women which to my horror and to their amusement quickly turned into violent sex, there was me being a great disappointment to all and especially to my mother who let me know in no uncertain terms she no longer considered me her daughter (!) then my aunt who still tried helping me as best she could even though nobody wanted her to and I was all but unresponsive, there was a promising young suitor who eventually felt forced to move on to other candidates seeing as I was proving ufit as mariage material and of course there were cats showing up everywhere , all of which is just a very small portion of this particular dream-freak-show. From all this, the message the dream made sure to communicate to me in no uncertain terms is that the only road to my salvation is to start believing in fairy tales again. Easier said than done since in my opinion, a stubborn belief in fairy tales is what’s brought me the greatest grief and trouble in my life. I think I’ll just let that one sit and stew for a good long while.

My meals consisted of hazelnut milk chocolate and fresh cherries even though my fridge was filled with meal options and to finish off the day there was The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, a lovely movie based on a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald which I must get my hands on. I cried for the full second half of the movie which is nearly three hours long, so now am sufficiently exhausted to tuck myself in early and hopefully get rested enough so that by tomorrow I will be able to tell the difference between dreams and movies and reality and maybe even make some kind of useful contribution to the day.

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