Finally, Summer.

Sundress_0879
Today’s summer dress pattern. Found in a vintage store in Australia.

Sunflowers_0870

Sunflowers_0872
For the full effect, picture each flower bigger than your head.

We’ve finally been getting summer weather for the past couple of days—it’s been in the low 30s which feels more like 36ish (97F)—which means a summer dress was the smartest choice to make today. I couldn’t wait to dive into the pool during our scheduled hour which was around 11 a.m. We have an hour twice a week reserved for us patients at the Day Hospital and I’m always assuming other pool users will also be mentally challenged people like us. I keep forgetting the pool is open to anyone for just $5.00. This particular outdoor swimming pool is one of the nicest I’ve ever seen as we’re already on the mountain and the backdrop is more mountain and countless trees on one side, and sunshine on the other. I’ve tried taking pictures which didn’t give the full effect but trust me, this is a swimming pool even public swimming pool haters would love to swim in. What I didn’t expect was that it would turn into Daytona Beach, with blonde buff guys sucking in their guts and skinny big breasted gals wearing barely there shimmering bikinis and plenty of nipple show. Oh my. For the first time in my life I think, I was actually happy to NOT be skinny because for the most part I just thought most of those girls were emaciated and sickly-like. Those times when I’ve been skinny and buff myself I fit right in with that crowd. But otherwise I feel I may as well come from another planet and all that preening and showing of goods just made me feel like the biggest prude and really uncomfortable. Who’d ever have thunk it? But there you go, that’s what a complete loss of libido will do for you. I’d love to go to that pool this weekend as we’re expecting more of this gorgeous—and stifling-hot—summer weather but if it’s the same cruising crowd hanging out there you can count me out. Just makes me feel way too anxious and it’s just not worth it, especially as finding a new boyfriend is just about last thing on my list of priorities these days.

More evidence of summer on the way home. It was almost shocking to see the giant stalks in the middle of the urban setting I live in, but sure enough, one of the locals is growing sunflowers right there out on the sidewalk. They look almost surreal out there. I did my best to capture them with my iphone, which of course doesn’t do them justice. But you get the general idea.

The weekend is upon us, which always makes me a bit nervous—all that unscheduled time and so little willpower—I’ve been feeling lonely too these past few weekends, which is a new thing and rather troublesome. I may not have had the guts to contact old friends, but at least I had the presence of mind to book myself a mani/pedi tomorrow in the early afternoon which means I’ll be up before nightfall, I’ll make sure to take a shower and make myself smell good, and most importantly, I’ll get out of the house. You’d think all that would come automatically by now, but no, it’s still a struggle. Sigh. They say small steps, they say slow and easy, and thank God they say those things or otherwise I’d feel really inadequate… but I guess by those measures I’m doing rather well, so Yay!

Pics by Smiler using an iPhone camera

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4 thoughts on “Finally, Summer.

  1. A mani/pedi, yey! Not only are you giving yourself a reason to get out of the house, but you're also caring for yourself!It sounds like you are doing well, and it is all about little tiny steps! Fill me in on the color selection you make tomorrow =)

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