Waitressing Not Required


I’ve been on edge these past couple of weeks after talking to my insurance agent who said he had recommended me for extended coverage but that the matter was out of his hands and was being considered by a special team at the moment. Those at the hospital who are quite fluent in such matters predicted I would probably have to do an psych evaluation with a specialist chosen by the insurance folks. I was nervous about that. Ok, let’s admit it, I was terrified! It’s always the luck of the draw with shrinks, and while some are very decent and understanding (as is my case presently), others are unpleasant old farts who enjoy making their patients feel as small and as ignorant as possible.

Then I got a letter in the mail today. I opened it on the front porch as I tend to do when scary snail mail is sent my way, and lo and behold, found out they had agreed to continue coverage. This is a huge relief because had they NOT accepted to keep covering me, I would have found myself penniless by the end of the month. Which is nothing compared to the fact that I’m so scattered these days that I wouldn’t have had the good sense to look for something much above waitress-level. Not that there’s anything wrong with waitressing of course, just… it’s not really for me what with having held an executive position, and the fact that I am the world’s worst waitress ever (I know, I tried).

So Yay! They’ve written in a bunch of stipulations of course, but one thing that caught my attention was that should the need arise I could be eligible to receive payments until July 10th 2034.


That’s 25 years! Leading right up to the eve of my 65th birthday! Boggles the mind. I can’t even try to think that far ahead, makes me both dizzy and nauseous and we don’t want that. But I guess… I prayed for a safety blanket, and I got a supersize one, so thank you Mr. God, thank you in a BIG way.


Clumsy Waitress pic by Corbis
Waitresses Available Sometimes pic by Candlemaker, Flickr


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