“The Dog Just Bit My Leg”

It’s been a “my wife has burnt the scrambled eggs, the dog just bit my leg” kind of weekend. Saturday’s painting class takes everything out of me for some reason and I ended up crying myself to sleep last night, convinced I was a hopeless cause. Probably something to do with the fact that the painting I worked on, which was meant to be a tribute to Kandinsky’s Black Lines—no less (click on the link to view and read my post about it)—ended up being a big disappointment. No big surprise there. Then around the time I was considering maybe waking up today, my phone beeped with yet another text message from the more than two year old ex saying he wants to send over his girlfriend to pick up the few pieces of clothing he’s still got here. As opposed to sending his father whom I already know, like and trust, as I’ve been asking him to do for the last two years. Probably an attempt at making me jealous but the sheer idiocy of it just made my head throb, so I just went back to sleep and didn’t bother getting up again until it was almost night out. I could have spent the rest of the day writing the remaining 8,000 words I have left to finish my NaNo project, but I didn’t. Partly because I’ve lost my motivation, partly because I don’t think I’m worth a damn as a fiction writer, partly because I got caught up in a text message flame war with the ex, and partly because I prefer playing Spore these days. It’s a great game. Too bad I suck at it so badly. I can’t seem to come to terms with the fact that if my creature is a carnivore (as opposed to a herbivore or an omnivore, which makes you too much of a target for all the other creatures to attack), then it means it has to go out and kill other creatures to feed itself. What can I say, I’m just not into killing other species, even if it is just a game.

Now I know if I just lightened up already all these things wouldn’t matter one whit and I’d have more than enough more interesting things to occupy my mind with than existential questions fuelled by video games. I just have no idea how to go about lightening up exactly. But then, when I read back on all my kvetching, I do see some kind of humour in it all, so I guess there is hope after all.


6 thoughts on ““The Dog Just Bit My Leg”

  1. Hello Smiler!I found your blog by googling for "Ensemble, c'est tout", which was the favorite book of a friend.I have to say that your blog is very aesthetically satisfying, both the design and the language.Since you seem to listen to recommendations, I recommend you to check out this article: http://harmonist.us/2009/11/holidays-of-the-heart/ and also to go through the archives of that page if you find it interesting.//Björn from Sweden

  2. Anonymous isn't very convincing. I have an ex-son-in-law. I know how these things work. I'm not an artist and don't appreciate art in any sophisticated way. But I enjoy reading what you have to say about this particular piece of art. I don't necessarily get it, but I feel enlightened, anyway.

  3. There is alwys hope… somewhere. It might not be easy to see sometimes but then it cna be enough to recognise it's there. Hope things are looking up for you adn you sorted iout things with your ex. Personally, those bits would have been thrown out by me long ago if he wasn't willing to collect them, but I know situations are always different from the inside. Hang in there my friend!

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