On my mind today

As much as I’m wanting to do all kinds of things today, I’m equally desirous of spending time with my books. I’m more conscious than ever that I’ll have to cut back some on bookish things starting about a month for now to make room for my art classes, and art in general, which I’ve been woefully neglecting along with everything else. My dad offered to pay for my classes this term, which is very generous of him, so I signed up for a class with my favourite teacher Elisabeth for another round of watercolours (she keeps it fresh and new and exciting all the time, what more can one ask for?). I’ll also be taking a day-long painting class during which everyone works on personal projects, which I thought was probably the smart thing to do since I’ve got maybe a dozen canvases at various stage of completion and could certainly use the feedback to get me moving on them. A regular three-hour class is just too short, and the full day is a little too long to be leaving Coco alone, so I’ll probably show up a bit later in the morning (big surprise, right?).

Then in November, I also want to join NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) again, this time to write a draft for a novel that came to me suddenly in a dream last night. It’s not a story really, but it’s… something. I wake up from really intense dreams—not to say nightmares, which they usually are—several times a week most of the time, and have to get up and do something (usually eat sweets) until I’ve calmed down, and that’s just what happened at 4 a.m. today, only it wasn’t a nightmare this time, it was just this… all these scattered ideas coming together in a really exciting way, which usually only happens when I’m in a manic phase. I hurried up and took a bunch of notes and I hope I can make sense of them and get it all to come together when I set to putting down some 2,000 words a day; the goal of NaNoWriMo being to write 50,000 words in 30 days. But if anything, the fact that I’ve even got an idea I’m excited about is already… pretty exciting.

I’ve made sure to keep my Wednesdays open for volunteering at the workshop. The first time around was great, but also incredibly intense for me, and it took me several days after to get my energy back though in retrospect, it was mostly because I was overthinking things (ME? NEVER!) The second time was a bit easier, though I felt like I had no idea what I was doing, and when people were asking questions about what I want to do with myself and with my art, I kind of wanted a hole to open up in the ground and swallow me whole, because I’m still so far from having figured anything out for myself, so who am I to come and try to help anyone else? But whatever. It’s all a process and as long as they keep wanting me to come back, I’ll keep trying. After all, that’s the best I can do.


5 thoughts on “On my mind today

  1. NaNoWriMo is still a possibility for me…i can’t commit yet (if I do, the world might crash and die)
    It might be fun to have you as a Writing Partner…..ever think of that?

    I read the book NO PLOT, NO PROBLEM…this past weekend…scared the hell out of me

    Oy, again


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