My first watercolour class of the session was today and it was… interesting. It’s a full class, whereas last term we had a very small group, so I needed to adjust to having so many people there. This one woman showed up and her appearance dismayed several of those who had had the bad luck of having her as a classmate before. She criticizes absolutely everything in a very loud, strident voice, when she’s barely even gotten through the door. I’ve had words with her in the past, so I have to really keep my temper and attitude in check because she has a way of driving me crazy. She thinks nothing of putting down a person’s work, which is completely unacceptable behaviour in this school, where they really strive to create a nurturing environment. But then—anybody who thinks they don’t have artistic talent? should see this woman’s work. This woman apparently thinks she has a gift though. The stuff she showed today literally made me feel sick. Yes, that bad. The teacher usually finds the loveliest things to say about everybody’s work—it’s a real talent she has—no matter how much or how little talent a person has, and she was more or less rendered speechless, along with everyone else. She pleaded the fifth after class when I asked her about it, and that told me everything I needed to know.
I’m usually exhausted after class and today was so completely depleted I considered taking a taxi home because was also in very low in spirits. I wanted to avoid taking the metro because every single time I’ve taken the metro during rush hour I’ve ended up in an altercation with someone who was either pushing me or being equally offensive. But I decided I shouldn’t spend money on a cab and headed for the subway. The station I get off at next to my home happens to be a major hub with many bus lines headed to various parts of the city, so people are always in a panic to get to their buses on time. Hence, that much more opportunity for people to behave in unspeakably rude ways. I’m not at all proud to say it, but I can have a terrible temper and don’t react well to rudeness. In fact, it’s very ironic because when someone is rude to me I tend to lose all self-control and become ten times as bad. This man today, reasonably well dressed, office-type person, apparently found I wasn’t walking up the escalator fast enough. He first put out his arms and pushed me up, then tried shouldering me to push me aside. This while I was walking up at a brisk pace, too.
I… exploded. You know when you see someone making a terrible scene out in public that makes everyone cringe and look away because it’s so embarrassing, and you wonder where that person’s self-respect can be? Well I was that person. After I picked myself up from a muddy puddle, I walked over to my home feeling very upset, mostly with myself. When I got there, I found my cat Ezra had peed on the kitchen floor and pooped outside the litter box too, again.
He’s still alive. Nothing broken. Still purrs when I pet him. That’s all I’ll say about it. Me? I think I’m still in one piece, but I’m not exactly sure.